On Back Pain, Working from Home and Taking Care of my Mental Health

This is a bit of a rant about my current life situation — looking for other people who can relate.

Sometimes it is hard for me to believe that we are still in the middle of a global pandemic.

(Can I say here I hate the phrase ‘global’ pandemic. The definition of the word ‘pandemic’: (of a disease) prevalent over a whole country or the world. The term ‘global pandemic’ is a phrase news organizations use to exaggerate the pandemic — as if it wasn’t bad enough already.)

Seriously though WHEN WILL IT BE OVER?!

Are you feeling that? I think we all are.

It is difficult to even process what is happening. It is like I am hoping there is going to be some sort of stopping point and then everything will return to the way it was before.

We all know that everything has changed, and nothing will go back to how it was. It is a harsh reality and I am still mourning that loss.

If you are lucky enough to have kept your same job and you are coming out of the pandemic more financially secure you will likely not resonate with people that have had multiple layoffs OR people having difficulty finding a job OR people that are crushed by their own finances due to job loss from our current situation.

There is so much stuff that I want to do right now but I am standing in my own way and I am using the pandemic as a crutch for my lack of motivation. OR — it could be that — it is fucking difficult to make decisions when everything seems so uneasy or so unsure.

To say these last few years haven’t affected my mental health would be an outright lie. Finding the right treatment has proven difficult. I have had medication changes, and physical activity changes and if I am being honest, I am hug deprived.

I saw on TikTok the other day, a therapist was talking about how zero amount of treatment can help you while you are living the trauma. We are currently living the trauma of a pandemic.

I have noticed that everything in life is a chain reaction. Things happen because other things have happened and unless you step off the hamster wheel it never ends.